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I am not married but I see several miserable marriages. I fear marrying somone and things being great at the beginning and then going down hill. What are the secrets to keeping:
The romance alive
The sex life great
The emotional intimacy there
The enjoyment of their company and
Just getting along
Please give number of years married when answering.
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March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Starting and staying best friends, listening to each other, respect for each other’s space and beliefs, shared beliefs, knowing how to solve disputes
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
i’m not married but being their best friend would probably help. That way when the sex life is not so great there isn’t nothing left because you still have someone to talk to
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
8 – Giving up your christianity and doing crack every night!
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I’ve been married almost 14 years. My husband was and still is my best friend. I think that is a must for a lasting relationship. Since you are asking this of Christians, I will assume that you are one. I think your spouse should be also. There are many problems that arise when people have different faiths, especially when children come along. My husband and I are both Christians. We like each other, not just love each other. We try new things. We read together. We talk to each other. We mention right away when something is bothering us and we forgive each other.
May God Bless you.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Christians only huh? I think you "Christians" are the biggest hypocrites of all.
How about the rule that says no sex before marriage (fornication). I bet that one was ignored way more than once.
Anyhow, the way to keep it alive is to stay in great shape, both you and your wife and keep dating each other.
If you settle down and get fat and start a boring routine where everything is predictable, then this is a real marriage killer.
That’s coming from someone who had Christianity rammed down his throat all his childhood. Now I’m and atheist. Married 10 years, never cheated.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
We have alot of communication and we learn how to NOT push eachothers buttons. And as far as the sex life, if you love that person enough, the sex life is always good as long as you get some.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
After just over 3 years, I’d say it’s simple to say and hard to do: marry someone worth putting before yourself on a daily basis for the rest of your life, and then do so; there’s no secret way not to face any trials. There is also no such thing as a fail-proof marriage. All it takes for a marriage to fall apart is nothing: for at any moment one or both partners to not be taking the initiative to keep the other top priority. If you never find someone so worth it your fears are quieted, by all means don’t marry.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I think that you have to be friends first and foremost. I am a Christian who has been married 10 months but me and my wife were best friends for 4 years before we ever had sex (which was on our wedding day.) Also, you have to know how to resolve problems. Whether it be giving each other space after a fight or settling down to talk about it, but you have to set rules before anything…COMMUNICATION is key to the whole deal…without it you will not be able to resolve the minor fights and they will escalate into bigger fights…Lastly, build your relationship around God
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I am not married—but can say I have studied what makes good marriages stay that way—–the number one thing is to maintain mutual RESPECT.——–this require effort on both parties and you need to discuss this with each other. Give and get mutual respect and the other important factors (such as sex) will remain in focus.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Well, Our marriage is more then a pardner ship with each other. We don’t always like the same thing, want to go to the same place, but, we both know that we want to do, we just "compromise". Our 48th Anniversary coming up in August, seven children, 14 Grand-children, and we still hold hands. I personally believe that our mutual ‘Faith’ in Jesus Christ has been the mortar that binds the cracks in our relationship. Keeps each other from thinking or doing things that cause cracks and even sometimes you don’t believe its going to be solved, ahhh, Prayer is a Beautiful thing, Faith in each other Better ! God Bless !!
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
You have to keep "adult time" alive – even when you have kids! We do a date night at LEAST once a month…..I leave little notes for him in his car or I will take my daughters bathtub crayons and write a little love note in the shower.
We do our Bible time together in the morning……before we read the paper or watch the news.
I send him sexy text messages, surprise him by dressing up in a sexy outfit when he comes home……..
And most importantly, if something is bothering one of us we get it out in the open immediately. Dont let stuff fester, because that’s when the devil will come in and screw things up even worse!
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Well keeping a marige togather does not have anything to do with being a Christian first of all . The highest succes rate by religion is for athiests and agnostics. I think the best way to keep a marige strong is a lack of contempt for each other and treating each other as equals.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I know I’ll probably get a lot of thumbs down for this one…………….. But it saved my marriage. Buy 2 books by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
The proper care and feeding of husbands
The proper care and feeding of marriage
They are just blunt to the point pointers on marriage. I took what made sense to me and it has really worked!!
13 years of marriage & 2 kds
http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520612/ref=pd_sxp_grid_pt_0_2/103-8597667-5783854
http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142840/ref=pd_sxp_grid_pt_2_1/103-8597667-5783854
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I also have to agree with the person who said she read Dr. Laura books. She herself is a strong christian and believes that you make your own happiness and I agree.I am engaged and currently reading the proper care and feeding of husbands and it is already helping in my relationship. So you should check them out before you get married. God Bless
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Christian Domestic Discipline
For further information see:
christiandomesticdiscipline.com
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
talk, talk and then really listen to what the other person is saying. Even repeat it back to them so there is no mistakes about what you heard. Don’t just agree to something just to keep peace, you will feel upset and it will eat at you. No one can read your mind so tell the person what you want or don’t want and why. They might get mad or upset but they will know from the start where you both stand on things so their won’t be any surprise later on. Compermize on little things but stand up for yourself on the bigger ones. Marriage isn’t easier with the years you both change, but you should grow together not apart, so kept talking together on what you what as you get older. It also helps if you come from the same family type
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
37 years. Make sure you know a person before you marry them. Every time I see my wife it is like the first time. I treat her like a queen and she treats me like a king. We were married about six years when we came to Christ and if that would not have happened I dint think it would have worked. I was the jerk not her.
Romance – I tell her all the time I love her and am always thinking of new ways to show her.
Sex – The younger days were the toughest. Now adays I cant complain. It is hard to find a mate that has the same sex drive as you. And when the children come along its worst. But it has worked out.
Emotional Intimacy – I guess I have change the most there. I have had to learn her. What makes her tick. When she talks I listen to her. When she has a problem I act like she is the only one having a problem.
Company – I enjoy being with her. Neither of us work and it is great.
Getting along – How can you not get along with you best friend.
Women are the most precious things God but on this earth. And it took me a while to see this.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
first thing ,love you mate, an trust,,,married is a 50/50 deal, mean it take both to make it work,,,,,knowing when to not say something,,, to often, we will talk out of anger, an words hurt,,,,, under standing ,that he are she has feelling,,,,an never let sleep fall on you while in a fight,,,,,an sex is only a small part of married,, to share life ,an to enjoy ,the time you with you soul mate,, we been married 33,almost 34 years
March 4th, 2010 at 7:41 am
you should try talking more bacause she may be annoyed that when you answer its more of a "hmmp" or "whatever" or "ok!ok!"