I do not know how I got to think about this but it is bothering me for quite some time. I was born into a Christian Family, but I did not abide to the laws of the lord. It wasn’t till this frebruary I had an epiphany and I had repented from all my previous sins.
But one of them, will be one I will have to explain to my husband. As a much younger teen, I did something which I termendously regret but it is something that I know will bring trouble if I were to marry. I’m not a virgin, and so this is my question. If I want to marry a Christian Man or any man who has extreme respect for himself, would he look down at me for what I did? Would this make him love me less? Could he ever forgive me?
What would you do?
NON-religious person…..sustained by faith and faith by lord and his words alone.
Thanks to everyone that answered my question, and it is a shame that I can not pick more than one correct answer. Thank you all and God bless you.
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March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
He is a sinner too, perhaps not physically committing that particular one, but he has no room to look down upon you for it.
Besides, Jesus said that anyone that looks upon another with lust who isn’t their wife, has already committed adultery in their heart. Everyone stands guilty before Jesus, and needs to believe that Jesus, who is God, died for our sins on the cross and rose again, to be forgiven.
When we believe this, Jesus forgives everything, past, present, and future.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
I would consider it none of my business.
Love and blessings Don
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
It shouldn’t!! NO one is perfect, he shouldn’t love you because he thinks you are perfect.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
marry a man who can accept it~! that’s simple~!
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
well being a Christian boy (not really boy im 20) i wouldnt care, it seems like a lot of kids these days are "doing it" these days, before marriage, so no i wouldnt think any different of you, the fact that you apologized and repented is what its all about cuz we all sin
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Hon…once you are over 18 virgins are few and far between even if they are Christians. I wouldn’t sweat it to much.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
If you don’t say anything he wont know, most "virgins" couldn’t tell the difference, let dead dogs lie
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
If he is mature in the Lord and if you are honest with him and if you give him time to digest it, yes.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
OH the joys of religion. You are a bad girl and no man can every love you now. Dirt I say, dirt.
Who gives a crap what you did. It is in your past. Move on and live your life like it is the only one you’ll ever get. Mainly because it is.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
If he really loves God and knows that he is also a sinner, he will love you also. He does not need to forgive you, you have been forgiven by God and He will send you a wonderful man that will respect you from the beginning of your relationship. If he puts you down, he is not the one for you.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Don’t worry about it. Life is too short to worry about that future.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
if he really considers himself a christian, he should forgive you
"…And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us."
if you regret it, then why would you worry? we are humans and we’re allowed to make mistakes – we learn from them
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
If he can’t even swollow that, he shouldn’t be a christian anymore.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Do’t get down on yourself. All of us have past things we are not proud of,and no it will not make him love you any less. I married my best friends sister that I had know since we were kids. She by this time had been with several men,and I still loved her with all my heart. We are divorced now,but remain great friends. I still love her,and always will. Don’t worry if he loves you it won’t be a problem.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
I really don’t want to over-step my bounds here, but hon, you DON’T want to marry any man who will hold your past against you!
There are lots, and LOTS of men out there who are Christian and can love you just as you are. Besides, most of them have not so great pasts either.
No one should worry about your past. Now if you have a health concern that is a result of something you did in the past, then you do want to let your boyfriend know; and if he chooses to find someone else because of this reason, let him go and don’t feel bad about yourself.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
First, it is impossible to keep the laws. No one but Jesus could do that. If you broke one you have broke them all. They are there to show you how much we need Jesus in our lives. Without his loving grace where would we be. If you have repented then be honest from the get go to him. Do not with hold this from your future spouse. It will cause you alot of problems if you do. This is another example of how you can get caught up in the wickedness of this world. You should pray daily, put on the full armor of God, and be shown approved. Live your life in righteousness for the glory of God.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
No. I could care less if I married a non-virgin woman. If I love her I wouldn’t care if she’s a virgin. But unless he’s extremly religious I don’t think he would forgive you. Which is why I gave up on my religion for a less strict one.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
You have made your peace with God…that’s all that matters- It was a mistake and it’s over…don’t walk around in shame and feeling unworthy, that will only attract predators.
The right person for you will accept you for who you are now…None of us is perfect
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Like anything else, it depends on the guy.
A real man would realize that you don’t have to answer to him for anything you did before the two of you ever met.
And any guy who CAN’T figure that out, you need to kick to the curb without delay.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
My dear: Please, NEVER live
your life under this cloud. I doubt there are many men that
want only a virgin to marry.
But if you find one, then just
tell him and let him decide.
If he loves you, it won’t matter
at all.
Also, never, ever think of
yourself as a sinner, or bad
person because you had sex
before marriage. Actually, it
is very rare to find a virgin
at the wedding ceremony.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:25 am
A Christian man will understand that no one is perfect and we are all sinners but you will have to sit down and talk to him if you want a serious relationship. Don’t let him find out from someone else.
Been there only I’m the guy. I was a virgin till I got married and my wife wasn’t. Part of it wasn’t her fault as a child, and then later on she made a personal choice before she met me. She did tell me of her past relationships and regrets before we got married, so that scored her major points for honesty.
I’ve forgiven her but I’ll let you know it’s still in the back of my mind. It’s not something that you can just erase. I’ve tried. I don’t look down on her and don’t love her any less. I’m there to comfort her, support her, and to make her smile. I do trust her, we’ve been happily married 2 3/4 years. When people are young they can make mistakes but certain mistakes can effect future relationships and cause a lot of heartache.
Talk to him…be honest…he needs to know long before you get married.